What are the cleverest lyrics ever written?

[Jim Cohen]

Texas is a big state, north to south and east to west
Alaska doesn't really count, we're bigger than the rest
You can waltz across it, though, so grab your yellow rose
And sing another song of Texas, this is how it goes

One more stupid song about Texas
For miles and miles it rambles on
Biggest egos, biggest hair, biggest liars anywhere
Let's sing another stupid Texas song


By God we're so darn proud to be from Texas - yahoo!
Even of our pride we're proud and we're proud of that pride, too
Our pride about our home state is the proudest pride indeed
And we're proud to be Americans, until we can secede

One more stupid song about Texas
You've heard it all before so sing along
Biggest belt buckles and boasts, love that big old Texas toast
Let's sing another stupid Texas song

Our accents are the drawliest, our howdies are the y'alliest
Our lone star flag's the waviest, our fried steak's the cream-graviest
Our rattlesnakes the coiliest, our beaches are the oiliest
Our politicians most corrupt, our stop signs most abrupt


Our guitars are the twangiest, our guns are the kablangiest
Our cattle the long-horniest, our yodels the forlorniest
Our cookoffs are the chiliest, our Waylon is the Williest
Our sausage is the smokiest, our neighbors are the Okiest

From Texarkana to El Paso, Dalhart down to Orange
Every spot in Texas has got what you're looking for
Aren'cha glad that Texas put the stars up in the sky
If heaven isn't Texas, pardner, I don't want to die

One more stupid song about Texas
Just 'cause we're braggin', that don't mean it's wrong
Biggest heads and biggest hearts, biggest various body parts
Let's sing another stupid Texas song

Toss your hats into the air, we're obnoxious, we don't care
Let's sing another stupid Texas song

One more blusterin', bumptious, bald faced, brazen
High flown, high-tone, dander-up, panderin'
Pompous, puffed-up, snotty, swaggerin'
Stupid Texas song!

-- Austin Lounge Lizards

[Bart Maloney]

"All the Indians, are dressing up like Cowboys
And all the cowboys are putting leather and turqoise on."

A local favorite of mine, Mr. Johnny Lee

Song: Cherokee Fiddle

[Dave Van Allen]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">quote:</font><HR><SMALL>"B-double E-double Are You In?"
-(Kim Williams/Amanda Williams/Keith Anderson/George Ducas/Kent Blazy), "Beer Run"</SMALL><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I love that it took 5 people to write that....

[Billy Murdoch]

Haggard,,,,Do'nt want no frien'ly Henry
warmin' up my bed.

Chuck Berry,,,,For a moment I took a notion and we went ito a dancin'motion.
She nodded her head mucho gusto She said
and we danced with more devotion.

[Pat Burns]

..with a nod to Gordon Lightfoot, since he's currently on another topic here...

"I can see her sittin' there in a satin dress, in a room where you're doin' what you don't confess"

[Dave Van Allen]

"I pulled the head off Elvis
Filled Fred up to his pelvis
Yabba-dabba-doo
The King is Gone
and so are you"

[Donna Dodd]

Just went to The Notorious Cherry Bombs(Vince and Rodney) link recommended by Mark Van Allen in a post about REAL country music. Ok, ready for this one?????

<SMALL>It's hard to kiss the lips at night, that chew your a$$ off all day long</SMALL>

Nice and twangy, too!! How profound!!

[Charles French]

BEGGING TO YOU
Marty Robbin

I left you this morning...couldn't take any more...
You laughed and dared me...to walk out the door...
You said that I'd come back...you knew what I'd do...
And you know you were right, 'cause I'm back here to-night
Begging to you.

I won't disappoint you...I'm beggin' to stay....
But that's what you wanted...to hear any way...
It must make you happy...to make me so blue...
What a pitiful sight I...must be tonight begging to you.

You don't want my loving...but you let me stay 'round...
I guess just to walk on...so you don't touch the ground...
To you it don't matter...what you cause me to do...
As long as you keep me...begging to you.

[Tony Harris]

How about Dierks Bentley's new one?
"I bought the golden band she wore,
on the hand that closed the door,
And I bought the shoes that just walked out on me"

[Pookie Anselmi]

Heard this on a radio talk show. This line is also the title of the song.

"I'd rather pass a kidney stone than another night with you".

Pookie A.

[Don Patterson]

"I was in Tulsa and didn't have anything goin'.... She LIVED in Tulsa and didn't have anything on"
Tom T Hall "Tulsa Telephone Book"

"Spent half my money on whiskey. half my money on women, and the other half I just threw away"
Ray Benson, Asleep at the Wheel "Gone But Not Forgotten"

[Don Joslin]

I always though that Junior Brown was as clever as they come at writing lyrics. Pretty clever guitar player too

Here's a couple Junior lines that I especially like:

"She's just venom wearin denim
She's a nightmare not a dream"

"I'm semi-crazy
I gotta be half nuts
to keep runnin' up and down the road in these semi trucks"

"I gotta get up every mornin'
just to say goodnight to you"


Don


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"When you come to a fork in the road, take it! ~ Yogi Berra

[Neil Hilton]

She said, don't bother coming home
by the time you get here, I'll be long gone
There's someone new and he sure ain't no rodeo man.

I said, I'm sorry it's come down to this
there's so much about you that I'm gonna miss
But it's alright baby, if I hurry I can still make Cheyenne.

[Chippy Wood]

I like Chet Atkins " I'm writing her name in the snow".

------------------
Ron (Chippy) Wood
Emmons D10
Carter SD10

[Joey Ace]

That's "I Still Write Your Name in the Snow", Chippy.

[Don Patterson]

"There's more old drunks than there are old doctors, so I guess we'd better have another round".
Willy Nelson

[Don Joslin]

I got to thinkin' and in any discussion about lyrics it's hard to ignore Paul Simon (not country per se but genius) and Jimmy Webb.

"And I need you more than want you. And I want you for all time." - Webb

Don



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"When you come to a fork in the road, take it! ~ Yogi Berra